I’d Like A Spiritual Cleansing Please

Okay, four days in and I have already skipped. I’m doing yesterday’s blog today. And then I’ll do today’s later. So there… still counts, right?

Today I would like to talk about something that NO ONE should ever have to see. I saw it yesterday.

Yesterday was a typical day in Los Angeles. Woke up to sun, blue skies, and a bit of light wind off the beach. As usual in these cases, I decided to have a nice bike ride. Which I did. Using my new workout tracker app on my phone, I estimate that I did 11.85 miles in a little under an hour. Not bad for an amateur cyclist with a dodgy knee, is it?

However, on my way home, I saw a thing that no one ever in their life should have to see. On my regular bike route, which takes me along the LA River inlet down to Marina Del Rey, there is a homeless man who lives in one of the concrete alcoves along the river retaining walls. (I should clarify for those of you that don’t live here, that the LA River in my area is totally and completely man-made and the path it follows is more of a concrete drainage basin than a real riverbed.) I see this same guy camping out there every day. And it’s close to a number of shops and restaurants so I imagine that in addition to some relative protection from the elements, he has access to a good bit of leftovers to eat. He doesn’t seem crazy. He just lives there.

Yesterday, as I was coming back past him I saw him squatting by the edge of the water. It took me a moment to realize what he was doing. But as I got closer I realized that he was SQUATTING by the water’s edge. Pants around his ankles and a growing pile underneath his bare ass. Then I saw it. Yes, you know what I mean. Do I have to say it?

Now, I am normally not squeamish. But that was too much.  I think “Homeless Guy Taking a Shit” is in the top 10 of the things we don’t ever need to see, nor should we in our lifetimes.  But if we’re keeping score, I can for sure check that one off.

On another note, I can also check off “Having Lunch with the Green Hornet.”  Well, okay, not quite that exactly, but I did see Seth Rogan at a sushi fusion place yesterday at lunch. He’s cute. And at one point, my manic laughter at a random thing that happened made him look at me. So of course, I think that’s a match made in heaven. Don’t you?


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