New Year’s Eve

It’s New Year’s Eve today. Tomorrow begins a new year and for some reason, which I have never quite understood, everyone seems to feel like it’s the beginning of something. I would say that I feel the same, but the honest truth is that it’s the beginning of nothing but a new calendar. All the spaces that had been filled in before are free and open to possibility again. But what does that really mean?

If your life isn’t what you want it to be, tomorrow morning, you’re not likely going to wake up to a better anything. Your life will be the same, the only thing that will have changed is that you and the world around you will be a bit older, a bit less shiny and very probably hung over. If your life is good, it will most likely continue to be good. Things are really rather on their path and they tend to stay that way. So why is it that we give this day and the one following it so much power?

And because of that everyone expects that we should all go out and do something fantastic, but really it’s just a turn of a calendar page. Nothing more, nothing less.

Still, I can’t help but feel that sudden overwhelming sense of possibility. As bored with my life as I am and as dissatisfied with the way this year has turned out, I am a sucker for the romanticism of the day and I too will fall helplessly asleep tonight (hopefully not too drunk either) thinking that maybe, just maybe, this year will be different. I will figure out what I want, how to get there and fix the things I see wrong with my life.

I’ve made my list of resolutions. I have to admit that sadly they look very much like the ones I made last year. They look like the ones I’d made two years ago in fact. So I suppose that this coming year is one to play catch up with myself a bit. There are the normal ones that everyone makes; you know, lose weight, find true love, improve my life in general. There are the more specific ones that apply only to me; to get back to the stable and play with the ponies more often, sort out my debts, etc… And then there is the one that is mine and mine alone. And that is the one that matters most. It’s one thing. One very small thing that to anyone else would be just a wish. Or a dream. But to me, it’s a need.

And no, I’m not telling you what it is.

But I will say this.

I hope everyone does the same. Find the one thing on that list which is within your power to change and change it. Maybe if we all focus on that one small thing – then next year, things won’t seem as bleak as the year before and we can all look back on 2011 as the year we accomplished something. No matter how small it seems.

Happy New Year.

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